In less than 12 hours I'll be getting ready for school. Omg. school. like I'm gon be a junior! ~!~*~

My schedules pretty tight. I feel that it's a very[?] big challenge for me taking all these challenging classes... but part of me wants to be challenged. I want to be busy and test myself to the limit.. summer.. was nice and relaxing doing nothing and that is the whole point of summer.. having fun doing nothing, right? but now, i feel like i want to busy myself and keep myself occupied. although i don't know if i'm ready for it...
I am excited because i love my schedule, [although i hear i have some harrrdccore teachers.. :( ]and i hope it meets my expectations tomorrow :) esp. 7th period! i'm excited for ap music theory! i sound retarded, but that one class really makes me excited. okay, i don't know about 'really excited' but somewhat excited for school.
At the same time, I'm worried. I am afraid and dreading this year. because it's 'junior year' and everythings tough and hard? nahhhh, i have my own reasons.. i'm just afraid.. and i hope i get through this year well.. all i can do is have hope that i will survive instead of having a mindset it will happen, that i will get to the point that i am so afraid to be at.. i'd rather have positive thoughts..pretty hard to do. I just really really desperately hope i won't get to that point.
So honestly, i don't know how i feel. I am confused. I'm excited yet afraid. Oh dear god please... I really really need help.
once again, i have committed myself to want, and i hope that want will keep me in check, accountable. because i will very much need it.
please pray for me. i really need them prayers.

man i really can't anaylze my emotions right now, but i just hope tomrrow's a goodday!

I really can't believe i'm in 11th grade. I SWEARRR 7th grade was like 2 year ago.. but its been 5.. hoolyy.
there were so much i wanted to do by the time i got to this age... but its okay, keep your head up amy, you still have so much coming for you! you can do itttt!

i'm going to study my ass off this first quarter. fighting!

& omg i can’t wait for glee to premiere on WEDNESDAAAYYY
& i still love 2ne1 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 madd respect for them!
& the weathers gon be so sucky tomorrow boo for bad weathers on firstday of school.

Hello xanga

hello xanga.
it's summer... and i am SUPER bored. sure hanging out and thats fun but my laziness is killing me. I really need to get started on a lotta things. Mmmm.. random things:

-RIP Michael Jackson :( I never realized he was so attractively good looking w/ all the hot dance moves especially in Black or White. and I cried my eyes out watching the memorial thing.. esp. when his daughter spoke. It was so emotionally draining just watching it.

-I wouldn't mind having a job at weather channel.. the one where i'd report in midst of crazy weathers like hurricanes. That'd be soo tight.

-2NE1 is looking betterrr with their new songs & their minialbum dropped TODAY! <3 They're so talented. Ah, I love them! like crazy! ahaha.

-I want to should and need to challenge myself to studying and finish the SAT book... People around me seem to be starting on their SATs with tutors and hagwons... I really need to get myself started

-I also need to start working out..

-I'm learning few things about friendship... once again. I guess 'friends' will always surprise you with new and old lessons. It's a subject you can not love, but can not hate.

-I'm such a human... lol. For the past few weeks I've been learning that I am still unable to forgive few people when I thought I already had. One is realllllyy stupid too... Realizing it so unexpectedly at retreat made it kinda hard for me to focus.. but that did not stop God from working! Devil is so sneaky.

-School has become one of my fears. Seriously, straight up - I am different from when I'm at school and church.. Sure, call it "finiding your identity" phase.. but I'm desperate to find myself.

that's a few things on my mind. I've been thinking a lot. Too much I think...

i've neglected xanga and i told myself i wouldn't...
i did get hooked on we.. um what is it.. i just forgot where i blog almost everyday.. OH wordpress!

yeah.. wordpress is where i blog.

i think im more comfortable? knowning not many people know about it.

& i got a small flashlight from this amazing person
so that i don't get lost in the woods or get greeted by unexpected deers. yayy.

sorry i haven't updated in a while. xanga's still in.

but wordpress is in also.

www.asjl.wordpress.com

and i want to be at church at the compassion celebration

and see cha in pyo. very very very very very very very badly.

The weirdest thing happened this week...

Okay so first - I was home sick half of the week with the flu. It was the worst I've ever had it! I couldn't get out of bed, I actually cried...[that's a first], fell trying to walk... am I trying to make you feel bad? yes, I thought I was going to die!    Well. anyway,  being in bed for few days thinking I'm never going to get out of this stinky sick bed... I said to myself.. randomly, I miss God. I miss church. Sure, it could be because I was isolated from the world for 3 days and I wanted to see people. But I really missed God. I've been so far away from God.. and I've been trying to pull myself away from youth group. See its weird.. because I couldn't see myself being in this position... missing God. For a while... I fought trying not to go to church every weekend. But yesterday - out of my will, I was at small groups!
Maybe it's because I realized nothing in this world is going to satisfy me. Everything, everyone in this world will fail me. .. in time. And take all the yg, praise songs away... it all comes down to all I have .. all I can have is God.

I'm being real honest. .. it's crazy. I never thought I'd share it.

Welllllll, MARCH 10th - SE7EN'S AMERICAN ALBUM DROPS babyyyy !